Parents and Sex Talks

According to multiple studies, it would seem that parents aren't talking with their children about sex early or extensively enough. Most parents have trouble broaching the subject at all, and can develop defense mechanisms to avoid discussing the subject at all. For example, willful naivete tends to delay the sex talk to a time far beyond when it is optimal, which is prior to an adolescent's first sexual contact.

There are also social functions that can interfere with covering the subject effectively or discussing it at all. Sex is treated as such a taboo topic in most of society that it is considered inappropriate to discuss with younger people at all, in some cases. There is also a prevailing belief that young people either don't wish to speak about sex at all, or would engage in the behavior irrespective of whether or not parents spoke with them on the subject. Both reason and statistics suggest that such assumptions are false. It assumes that adolescents are not insecure and growth-oriented while substituting assumptions that they are with the assumption that they are unreasonable and irrational. While there is perhaps a case to be made for those last two characterizations, for the most part adolescents are interested in learning about subjects that affect them, and though they do wish to be independent in their decisions, that does not mean that they will not consider input from their parents. Therefore, if a parent wishes to do what is best for their child, the best course of action is to strive to overcome the initial awkwardness of discussing the topic, and do their part to educate their children before they're forced to learn in a less than desirable way.

One major problem with this issue socially is that some families can become so blinded by their ideology that they make no contingency for reducing negative consequences if they do not achieve the desired outcome. Abstinence only education in particular is guilty of this. Such education is anything but practical, as it focuses so much on preventing intercourse entirely that it fails to make a contingency in the event intercourse occurs. Without any education regarding the safest way to have intercourse, such education makes a dangerous gamble that does not even try to minimize damage in the event that it doesn't prevent intercourse. This type of education is completely irresponsible, and fails to recognize that having a backup plan if premarital intercourse occurs is not the same as morally legitimizing the intercourse itself.

Mohammad Sohail

Recently in the news, there was a report of how a store owner in Long Island changed the life of a would-be robber. As he was closing his store, Mohammad Sohail, a Muslim from Pakistan, found himself face to face with a man holding a baseball bat, demanding money. Sohail immediately drew a rifle and pointed it at the robber's face. Though the rifle was not loaded, the robber was unaware of this fact, and immediately dropped his bat and broke down, sobbing. He explained his plight to Sohail, that his family was starving and he had no job. After Sohail made the man swear an oath to never rob anyone again, the man then decided he wished to convert to Islam, and was given a Muslim name by Sohail. After giving the man $40 and a loaf of bread, he departed before Sohail was able to give him a gallon of milk for his family.

I recently lent my car out to a brother in my fraternity so he could be a sober driver, and while he was doing so, he and four other fraternity brothers were robbed at gunpoint. After taking the wallets, cell phones, and other valuables of my brothers, the robbers fired a single shot at my front driver's side tire, hitting the rim and narrowly missing the tire itself before they quickly fled. Naturally, when I found out about the incident the next day I was furious that not only had my brothers been robbed and put in such danger, but the perpetrators also made an attempt to do serious damage to my property. However, after reading this story, I'm reminded that such people do such things out of desperation and fear. Upon closer reflection, I can't feel angry at them as much as I feel pity for them. Pity that they have become so desperate to survive that they would rob another at gunpoint, rather than struggle to make an honest living. Nobody should have to live in such destitution that the only recourse that they feel that they have is to engage in acts that they know are wrong, and that ultimately damage themselves more than it does others.

This story also serves as a lesson in how an everyday Muslim immigrant behaves in America. These are not the bloodthirsty zealots that so often characterize our perception of the Muslim world. These are people of a wide range of personalities that are just as diverse as the members of any other religion. There are those who are militant, certainly, but there are also those who are meek, pacifist, indifferent, or simply trying to provide for their families. This presents a reminder that people of the Muslim faith are just as capable of compassion as anyone else, regardless of their faith or lack thereof. I have great admiration for Sohail's compassion, and am glad that he has set such a good example of how we should treat fellow humans, even those who would wish to harm or exploit us.

Iran and Human Rights

Today is the Iranian holiday of Students Day, a day to commemorate three students killed by the Shah 56 years ago. It has always held special significance to both the Iranian people and regime, who have traditionally used the day to extol the virtues of the revolution that took place to depose the Shah. However, this year the only people measuring up to the principles of that revolution are the students themselves. Iranian security forces clashed with protesters earlier today as the still strong opposition to the outcome of last June's election protested the government and its policies. The imagery of this occasion cannot be overlooked. An increasingly repressive regime is attempting to silence dissenting views through violent means, while the opposition's influence continues to grow, it's members finding strength in the phrase "God is great." In essence, the theocracy of Iran has become that which its leaders sought to end.

This tragedy of good intentions giving way to authoritarianism cannot be fairly examined without looking at the role of women and gender in society. For all of its attempts to secure a democracy, women in Iran occupy the same social role that they have in all Islamic Caliphates--forced to wear the hijab, disallowed from speaking in public, and treated as property. With such a system of control over one demographic, repression inevitably spreads to others. A devaluation of any group of people risks the eventual devaluation of all people. Even if the theocracy is eventually overthrown, and a more democratic regime is installed, this sort of oppression will be predestined to occur again without a redefinition of the role of gender in society. Humanism is the philosophy that is required for any democracy to survive, and without a radical restructuring of the role of gender in society, repression by the state will always be just around the corner.